I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
