Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
