No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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