I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
