I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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