at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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