she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize