are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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