People in love make me want to vomit
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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