billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
