it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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