I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
