It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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