sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
