I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
