you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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