paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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