I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize