Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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