it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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