Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
