dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
