i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wear drunk well.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
