only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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