Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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