Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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