So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize