nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
