Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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