absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
