There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
