i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
