We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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