Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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