Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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