Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
