She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
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All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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