Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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