So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
