it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im holly from the hills drunk
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked