You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
