There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
