I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
