What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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