she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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