Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have demons in me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize