i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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