ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
