So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
well most of my day revolves around power hour
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize