Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
