SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
