You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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