Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
