38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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