Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
