ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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